Identify the Stories Holding You Back

We all have stories that hold us back. All of us. These stories hold us back at some times, in some ways, to varying degrees. We’re acutely aware of some of the stories. Others, we’re totally blind. The goal isn’t to be a story-less person. The goal is to know what your stories are and do some work around them so they no longer hold you back. Re-write them, flip them, let them go, work with them and sometimes all of the above.

What if you are having trouble pinpointing your stories? One way to uncover them is to be aware of the various types of stories. This opens your mind a bit to identify the stories that show up for you. Let’s dive in to one of the sneakiest story types!

The “This is just a fact!” Story

One story type includes the things in your mind that hold you back that are veiled as fact. Look, there are factual things in your life that may seem to hold you back. But what’s holding you back isn’t the fact, it’s the meaning (aka the story) you attach to the fact.

Let me give you a couple of examples. Here’s the first one - “I don’t have the skill set to add that service/product to my business.” That may be the current fact. You may not know how to edit a video for the YouTube series you’ve been dreaming of making. The story holding you back is what you attach to that… “I don’t have the skill set to add that service/product to my business therefore my dream just ain’t gonna happen.” See that sneaky story? Lack of skill isn’t what is holding you back in this scenario. It’s how you interpret that fact and the power you allow it to have. A story re-write looks like this - “I don’t have the skill set right now, so my first action step is do some research to determine how I can learn to xyz.”

Here’s another example - “I’m the only bakery in town!” Fact, you may be the only bakery/book store/therapist/wedding planner in town. The meaning you attach to that fact for your business, the story, is “I’m the only bakery in town, therefore I have to be all the things! I have to be open 7 days a week, I have to offer gluten free/vegan/paleo, I have to do birthday cakes and wedding cakes, I have to offer bread, cakes, muffins, and scones. I have to serve everyone or else where will they get cake?!”

A re-write is “I’m the only bakery in town, but the work I love to share with my community, that gives me life!, is custom wedding cakes so I’m going to focus on that. Oh, and I don’t want walk-in hours because that schedule doesn’t work with my life, I’m going to be by appointment only. This gives me the energy to do the work I love most.”

Now it’s your turn.

What is something holding you back that, at first glance, seems like fact? Now think, what am I telling myself about this fact? What meaning am I attaching to this fact? How am I allowing this fact to have power over me? You can absolutely do the work of processing your own stories and, ultimately, set yourself free from them. Get to it! You’ve got this!